Commitment Issues

Think Tank #28

Are human beings actually wired for commitment?

I’m not talking about romantic commitment here, although I’d bet that people who struggle with that sort of thing are grappling with the same problem.

The thought of anything day in, day out, can turn something you love into something maddening.

A passion that becomes a job can become a prison, if you’re not careful. Doing something not because you want to but because you have to can suck the joy straight out of it.

My mother and I were talking yesterday about the causes of addiction. We came to the conclusion that the root cause is unhappiness. Our unfortunate next observation was that most people, in some form of another, are unhappy. That’s why most of humanity is desperately seeking that next cheap dopamine rush.

This is true no matter what the situation. Rich or poor, successful or unsuccessful. Striving for a goal, the only thing on one’s mind is how they’ll finally be happy once that goal is achieved. Once they get exactly what they want, that same person is left wondering what to do next. People who have to work wish they could just stay home. People who stay home wish they had something to pry them out of bed.

I think this is because, no matter the situation, life is stagnant.

We make cages for ourselves in the form of houses. Even the most opulent of surroundings have the potential to grow stale.

It’s not just a product of location, though. Rich people can get out whenever they want, take a trip across the world on a whim. How come so many of them kill themselves, or dull their senses with opiates rather than face the next day?

Maybe it’s a product of our comfort. Maybe the human brain was wired for survival, and once putting food on the table isn’t a concern any longer, we just don’t really know what to do with ourselves.

What’s the solution?

I don’t have one. Happiness (and frustration) comes in waves. Joy is not something you can hold on to. One might say it refuses to commit.

I’ll admit it—my reason for writing this is because the thought of writing anything this morning nearly drove me to insanity.

Maybe the key to happiness is just gritting your teeth through the staleness and waiting for the next wave of joy to come.