Far, Far Down

Think Tank #14

What happened last night to the man sleeping on the L train?

It’s not something we often think about, is it?

We might ask ourselves if he smells. If he’s dangerous. But the question of whether he’s okay—well, of course he’s not, and it’s not our problem, so why bother thinking about it?

Instead we just have this peculiar scene—unique to our detached, big-city culture—in which there’s a man sleeping on the train, probably hungry, possibly on drugs, using a subway bench as a mattress, and people just gather around him, sitting in every surrounding bench but the one he has claimed, looking at their phones or resting their own eyes or doing everything else but be caught looking at the poor guy.

How far did we have to fall to get to this point? How much slow desensitization did we as a society have to undergo to make such a thing possible? Even disgust would be more human a reaction than indifference.

I think what stuck out to me about this particular man was that he looked fairly ‘normal.’ He wasn’t your usual subway ‘bum’ wearing five battered jackets with an odor that permeates the whole car. This guy could’ve been anybody.

Maybe he just had a long night out and fell asleep on the bench before he could get home. Maybe he just got evicted, and doesn’t know anyone with couch or even a floor he can sleep on. Maybe he exhausted every ‘helping hand’ that was offered, and is still stuck in his addiction, or his poverty, or whatever else landed him there.

Maybe he’ll pull through. Or maybe it’s his first night of many, and in a few weeks’ time, he’ll fit the ‘homeless’ stereotype—hardened, scary, different-looking from the rest of us.

When I encountered him on my morning commute, after assessing him as a threat (both physical and, well, olfactory) and deciding that it was fine to share the same subway car, I felt bad for the guy. I didn’t do anything, of course. What could I do? I don’t have any money to give him, and even if I did, how do I know he wouldn’t just spend it on drugs? Anyway, what if he’s dangerous? I’m a woman. I’m not just gonna go up to a random guy sleeping on the train. What am I, crazy?

These points are all valid. Besides, there’s so many people here who are in comparable situations or worse. Even if you manage to help one, you can’t change the world.

But a community would have helped this man.

New York is a city full of strangers. Somewhere else, someone may have recognized him as a friend of a friend, or a neighbor, and found that little piece of humanity in their heart. But not here.

Here, it’s just not worth the risk. So it’s every man for himself. And if you don’t have anybody to support you, it only takes one small slip before you’re far, far down, just like him.