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The Deep End #5

The world that greeted us upon exiting our mother’s birthing canal was a world of fear, hope, success, and failure. Which one breeds more customers? I’ll give you a hint. Happy people don’t typically buy stuff to try to make them feel good. So, that leaves everybody else who isn’t happy. Those people buy something. And then something else. And so on. Until nothing does it anymore, and the thousands of dollars that could have gone to a house down payment have gone to hangovers, one night stands, and expensive toys that get chucked in the garbage. All those expensive memories gone with it.

Well, until they creep back into your mind and haunt your thoughts right before you’re about to drift off to sleep.

The world doesn’t set you up to fail. We typically do it ourselves. But that doesn’t mean that our overlords don’t give us ample means of excuses to help us wipe our dreams away into obscurity, leaving bitter husks of people who blame everything but themselves for why they are who they are.

Let me start here.

My social media is typically made up of ‘influencers’ staring into the camera and straight through to my soul. Telling me that I’m lazy, stubborn, an excuse maker, fat, wasteful, and not taking advantage of loopholes that are available which can turn my normal everyday life into one with financial freedom, passive income, and a great hairline.

If it wasn’t a macho guy telling me how to get rich quick, it was this: some regular guy. Just like you and me! A corporate worker who hated their jobs and the grind. They packed everything, moved away from the big city they grew up in, and moved to the country where they would work remotely at an IT company and tend to the farm that was going to finally make them happy. Insert the same situation, but the beach — or an Eastern European city.

There are literally thousands of these accounts meant to make you feel like a loser for not picking up and doing the same.

My friends and I talk about how we could get better. We discuss ways we can turn ourselves from zeros to heroes. Real estate is the key. Once we own assets, it’ll all be smooth sailing. Well, those assets cost money. Money that we don’t have. Let’s keep looking at options.

Instagram turns these conversations into revenue. Listening to every word we say through phones, the algorithm spins these conversations into reels coming into our suggested feed. It’s always the same. Some guy, in great shape, telling you how easy it is to break out of the hole. Stop wasting time at your day job and get to work.

So that’s exactly what I did.

No, no. I didn’t buy real estate. I haven’t created a company slinging male-scented candles for profit. I haven’t bought a shipping container and turned it into an ultra-luxury vacation rental on the slopes of the alps. And I didn’t quit my job and find a remote work job at a startup collage maker where I can work from Bucharest while spending $50 a month on living expenses.

Instead, I wrote a book. A few, actually.

This week I finally took the next step and sent one of them to a literary agent. Fingers crossed. It’s my idea of how I can possibly attain financial freedom, get out of the rat race, live on my own terms.

And something changed. Not inside of me — at least I don’t think it did.

No, what changed was what videos the algorithm on Instagram started flinging at me in the matter of a day.

Gone were the influencers spewing intricate real estate advice. I haven’t seen a single video of someone telling me to take advantage of the 1031 exchange since!

Suddenly my feed was chock-full-o people expressing how following their dreams was the biggest mistake they ever made. Once their hobbies became their jobs they were miserable. Drowning in debt. With no money to get them by, they aborted their mission and made a beeline back to corporate America, which thankfully saved them from the horrors of following their dreams…

Doesn’t that seem a little strange?

When I’m talking about how badly I want to get out of the race, I’m drowning in videos that tell me what a piece of shit I am. Now that I finally made the next step, I’m being told to turn back. Run for the hills before it’s too late!

It seems fishy.

I thought the algorithm was trying to convince me that I need to better myself. Now that I’m in the process of doing just that, it’s telling me to turn back. Danger lurks ahead!

Why?

Hm. Good question. Those apps are designed to keep you sucked in. If you’re miserable at work, you can spend all day watching self improvement videos without doing anything that actually helps you improve. You’re convinced that you’re helping yourself just by watching the videos. Even though you haven’t changed a thing.

If you actually free yourself from the simulation, you wouldn’t need to watch videos that tell you how to be happy. Which is why the algorithm pivots. Before they lose a customer. No no no. You don’t want that. It’s safe here in corporate America with everyone else. Get back here, don’t go there!

It’s the same reason why the nutrition sect of the Internet is either coming straight at your manhood and explaining why you need to eat exclusively meat in order to be healthy. Those vegan lunatics are making themselves sick. Meanwhile, those vegan lunatics are telling you why meat eaters are heart attack-having murderers who are destroying the environment.

It’s a back and forth of falling out teeth and clogged arteries that suck people into their causes. Neither one tells you to eat a balanced diet. Don’t drink soda, sugar is bad for you, don’t overeat. That’s advice that would actually help people. Who wants that?

Which brings me to my point.

Social media doesn’t actually want to help people. That would ruin their bottom line. They need to keep eyeballs glued to phone screens. The best way to do that is to keep people cycling through two extremes that hurt when taken too far.

If you really want to make some changes, put the phone down, turn the TV off, and stop listening to other people. Ask yourself what makes you happy. What makes you feel good? If you figure that out, go for it, whatever it may be. If you end up feeling better, happier, and healthier, you’re on the right track.

There’s no reason to ask the Internet if you’re happy when you can find out on your own.

That’s all I got today. See you next week. I gotta Google how to make pretzels.