Your Mom

Think Tank #113

There are a ton of these comics on the Internet. If you know who made this thing, please tell me so I can credit them.

The traditional formula for comedy is to take something serious and make it funny.

Today, I’m going to take something funny and make it serious.

I work at an intermediate school. This means that I interact with a lot of pre-teens on a daily basis. Since it’s the end of June, these pre-teens are eagerly awaiting the summer break, fully aware that the adults in the building are as checked-out as they are and are consequently breaking just about every rule that they think they can get away with.

There’s a staircase in the building that is reserved for adults. The students always ignore this rule, but this time of year, they are especially bold. Recently, I encountered two boys who were strolling up the teachers’ staircase, spraying water at each other from their water bottles without a care.

Imagine it. I’m descending, they’re ascending. Water bottles in hand, the kids spot me, then continue on without even a nod of acknowledgement. One kid makes a comment about how the water is getting everywhere, and then, just as we’re passing one another, our shoulders nearly touching, his friend responds:

“I know, it squirts everywhere. Just like my mom.”

Naturally, I was appalled.

What kind of insane bastardization of a “your mom” joke is this?

“It’s your mom,” I wanted to say to the kid. “You’re supposed to say, ‘It squirts everywhere. Just like your mom.’”

Of course, that would’ve been inappropriate, so I did what any responsible adult would do—ignored it and then posted about it on the Internet.

What was he thinking? You can’t just go around insulting your own mother! How did the other kid not rip him a new asshole for this? I was dumbfounded! Then I thought about it.

This is the last stage of oppression.

Hear me out. Generation Z has been beaten down. Socially stunted by lockdowns and video games and social media, these kids were taught that the worst thing that anyone can ever do is offend someone else, and that if someone dare make a joke, it better be about themselves.

There’s something subversive about these jokes. There’s a risk involved. It’s a marginal risk, for sure, but it’s there. Every time a kid makes a “your mom” joke, they’re subconsicously making assessments in their head: “Is this funny?” “Is this too far?” “Is my friend going to get insulted?”

Young people have been taught to avoid all risk. Weighing the options in their head—the benefit of poking fun at their friend’s mom versus the increasingly steep social consequences of saying something that is perceived as offensive—they may decide that it just isn’t worth it.

There’s trust involved in a “your mom” joke. You have to assume the best of the person that’s telling it, trust that it’s all in good fun and that your friend doesn’t actually mean it. Are children even building these deep friendships anymore?

I know I’m making a bigger deal about this than it actually is. It’s funny, damnit. Plus, the “my mom” joke didn’t exist ten years ago. There must be a reason!

What do you think it is?

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You could even buy me a coffee. Your mom did last night. Ha!