Intentionally Incorrect Grammar Mistake's
Think Tank #154
So, John and I got married a few months ago. In addition to many other wonderful things, this meant that we had to endure countless annoying appointments with vendors in charge of music, flowers, favors, and, of course, photos.
What they don’t tell you is that the appointments don’t stop after you get married. They slow, for sure—the DJ doesn’t care about you anymore and neither does the florist. But then there are the pictures, with which there is still much more money to be made.
I’m painting this in a terrible light, which probably gives you some hint as to how festive I was throughout the whole wedding planning process. Wedding photographer, if you’re reading this, you were lovely and this is not your fault. What I’m about to say next isn’t, either.
As a way to preserve some memories that our kids might look back on one day (and as a way to endure a final post-nuptial expense), John and I decided to go back to the photographer to talk about getting a wedding album made.
Who knew there were so many options? Our parents claimed that there weren’t back in the day. The way they make it seem, the photographer just took a few pictures, developed them, slapped about 20 of them into the same album that they gave everybody, and sent you on your way.
Technology truly complicates everything. We have to choose 50-80 out of over two thousand pictures.
At this point you might be asking, “How long is that going to take?” to which I’ll reply that John and I still haven’t looked through all of them. What you really might be asking is, “What does this have to do with the title of the post?” and I’m getting to that.
We sifted through sample album after sample album. Some with wood covers, some with leather covers. Some with undisclosed covers that I assume were made out of cardboard which were expensive but not quite as expensive. We looked at binding options, box options. Nearly every option you could think of. Through it all there was one glaring error that I pretended not to see for the moment but knew I needed to address at some point during this meeting.
Each cover had the last name of the couple on the cover. For example, “The Browns.” However, there was something appalling. Four out of five of these names contained an apostrophe, i.e. “The Brown’s.”
I can honestly say that this tainted a lot of the experience for me. I just imagined myself paying a small fortune for a leather-bound book with “The Mistretta’s” etched across the front of it and having to fight for my money back because, while I know it’s a common error, we’re writers and we cannot have that thing in our house.
I kept my mouth shut for the entire time, and finally, it was addressed. “What would you like on the cover?” the photographer asked, and we said that we’d stick with the classic, “The Mistrettas.”
My throat felt like it was widening. I was going to have to say it. Then, with what seemed like divine providence, she saved me the embarrassment and asked, “Apostrophe or no apostrophe?”
“No apostrophe!” I practically interrupted her. “Definitely no apostrophe.”
Her response surprised me. “Are you a teacher?” she asked.
“Yes.”
I’m also a writer, which was clearly why the fact that this conversation was necessary really offended me, but I decided to stick with teacher for this meeting.
“That makes sense,” she said. “Every teacher who comes in here wants it the grammatically correct way, but everyone else chooses to put the apostrophe.”
“Wow, everyone?”
Then, what John said surprised me even more.
“I actually think it looks better with the apostrophe.”
Jaw dropped to the floor. Betrayal.
Maybe it was a teacher thing, after all.
We laughed about it, I made it clear that under no circumstances would I allow an incorrect apostrophe to be permanently engraved on our wedding album, and the conversation moved on.
However, it stuck with me—it actually bothered me quite a bit.
How do we live in a world that has completely forgotten how to use apostrophes?
What’s more, how do we live in a world where a couple can be told that the way they are about to engrave their name on a lifelong keepsake is wrong, and most popular response is, “Oh well, I think it looks better this way”?
It’s a shame. I feel like going on a rant a la Orwell’s Politics and the English Language about how our society isn’t merely dumb but careless, and that even my own husband succumbed to the temptation!
I’ll let you make the judgment, though, and I’ll just leave this here:
The Mistrettas
The Mistretta’s
John, I don’t know what you’re thinking. One looks complete, and one makes my stomach turn. There is a clear winner here.
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My statement stands.
Irregardless The Mistrettas' wouldn't look bad. ;-)